It was Halloween day, 1999. I have a very long and tragic history of Stethoscope Montreal Expos shirt. My daughter is my 6th and only child. My first, Sara, was stillborn, the second was a miscarriage, third was a tubal ectopic pregnancy, 4th was a cornual ectopic pregnancy, and 5th was a miscarriage. When I went into the doctor suspecting pregnancy #6, I told them ‘when it ended, not to let me leave until someone else came to get me.’ Her story is long and complex too, but we’ll skip that part today. She was born, she lived, and she is now almost 24. But Halloween is around the time my stillborn died. And I always remember her on Halloween day. This day was no different.
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I was sitting in a Stethoscope Montreal Expos shirt chair in the den, my husband was across the way at a desk doing something or other. The toddler was wandering around the room. The room was lined wall to wall and floor to ceiling in bookcases, except the corner where my chair was, and the area around the desk. My thoughts turned to my first lost child. As I was thinking, my child, 2 and a half years old, grabbed a book of a shelf and plopped it into my lap. The book was “Our children Forever”, sorry, I don’t remember the author’s name. It is a book for parents of lost children from a pagan perspective. Someone had given it to me somewhere along the way, but I had never read it. I looked from the child to the book and back again, thinking he was one huge coincidence.